Schadenfreude

There are stories in the world that are hard to characterize. They are part gallows humor, part slapstick, part poetic justice, part irony, and part Schadenfreude.

Some of the stories are strange, or candidates for someone's Darwin Achievement Award, Oberman's Worst Person in the World or, my favorite, Stupid Criminal Tricks, but the common thread is that someone gets owned.

I can think of no better description that is both vague and yet says it all than from one of our most astute social commentators, Homer Simpson. Today's D'oh! goes to:

Stefan Erikssen aka Fat Steven.

Police Search For Ferrari Driver

(CBS) MALIBU, Calif. A Ferrari that crashed Tuesday on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu and nearly split in half is suspected of racing, authorities said.

One person was treated at the scene for a minor injury just after 6:15 a.m. ... Stefan Erikssen, 44, of Los Angeles, and a Swedish national, told authorities he was the owner of the destroyed Ferrari Enzo.

Erikssen in happier times with happier car.

Erikssen, whose blood-alcohol level was .09, claims he was the passenger at the time of the crash, and that the driver ran off after the crash, Sheriff’s Sgt. Philip Brooks said.

Erikssen told police that a German named Dietrich was driving the car. Police say the Ferrari may have been involved in a race with a Mercedes.

Have you seen this man?

A common on-scene defense for criminals, especially in DUI cases, is the "phantom driver." Somehow, I don't think it'll work this time.

The Ferrari was driving in excess of 120 mph when the accident happened. It skidded up the side of the hill and most likely went airborne, Brooks said, where the Ferrari hit an electrical pole and was sheared in half, with the front section separated from the rest of the vehicle.The race was allegedly staged following a late-night party in Beverly Hills.

The Malibu Times is reporting that the 2003 Enzo was going a tad faster than initially thought.

Los Angeles County Sheriff's Deputies Thursday released their findings that the car was going an estimated 162 miles per hour when it began swerving on the highway at 6:06 a.m.

Blood was found on the driver's airbag but not on the passenger side and Erikssen has a cut lip. Anyone want to bet that the law enforcement agencies might all kick in for the couple of grand it'll take to do DNA testing?

On top of the reckless driving, drag racing and DUI charges Erikssen faces, it looks like that's not the end of his problems.

First, it looks like the car isn't his.

Police said the car was the property of the Bank of Scotland and was in the process of being repossessed. However, Mr Eriksson is still the proud owner of three Mercedes-Benz McLaren SLRs, police said.

Second, former senior executive at handheld console firm Gizmondo and member of the so-called "Swedish mafia," has had previous legal problems.

Swedish daily newspaper Aftonbladet has revealed that in two trials in 1993 and 1994, Eriksson was convicted of a number of mobster-related charges, including financial fraud related to counterfeit money and an attempted $3m scam on a financial institution, and sentenced to over ten years in prison.

Eriksson was an executive officer of Gizmondo Europe, and earned over $3 million in salary and bonuses from the company (along with a generous $100,000 vehicle allowance) before his resignation on October 20th, 2006.

Here's the kicker, he may have "forgot" to tell US Immigration about the convictions. How do you say "deportation proceedings" in Swedish?


The Ferrari Enzo is a limited-edition vehicle worth between $600,000 and $1 million. It has 650 horsepower and a published top speed of 225 mph.

Is Talon News Hiring?

Tom Malin, who is seeking the Democratic nomination for the House District 108 seat held by Republican Dan Branch, was outed last week as a former gay prostitute.

"I've made mistakes in my life, and I've stood before my creator and I've accepted responsibility for my behavior," Malin said in Friday's Dallas Morning News.

Malin, or ‘Todd Sharpe’ as his clients knew him, used to work in the New York and Los Angeles areas and charged anywhere from $200-$600 for his “hot uninhibited” services.

Now the heat was on him not just from the usual sources but from the local gay community as well.

Stonewall Democrats of Dallas on Tuesday rescinded its endorsement of Tom Malin, a gay Democratic candidate for the Texas House who formerly worked as a male escort.

The gay political group voted unanimously on Tuesday night to rescind the endorsement after Malin admitted last week he had worked in the sex industry. The candidate acknowledged his work as an escort after nude photographs of him were found on a defunct website.

It's bad enough that he's a former prostitute but what's really going to sink him is his other revelation: He was also a Mary Kay salesman for 13 years, becoming one of the few men ever to win the use of a pink Cadillac.

The primary is March 7 but it's unlikely that his resume is one the Texas voters will flock to. No worries, if he loses the election, I'm sure he can get a White House Press Pass.